Sunday, January 20, 2008

A story about Small Town adventures

Dan and I and our two boys lived in San Diego for a little over seven years. We lived in North Park for those of you who are familiar with San Diego and for those who have visited San Diego we lived about two miles from the new Naval hospital and Balboa Park. Dan got out of the Navy and got a job in Ohio and we decided to try and sell our home in San Diego before joining Dan in Ohio.So the kids and I stayed in our home in San Diego. I never worried to much because we had a really good dog and our neighbor who was a border patrol man had a really big gun!

Anyway, one day I was out working in our front yard and this man comes up the street, stops on the opposite side of the street, walks across the street up my driveway and heads toward my front door. When I asked him if I could help him he responds, "I bet you have a lot of stuff you want to sell if you are selling your house..." I said no I didn't and that if I did I would have a yard sale.. The man was adamant about my having things in my home that I wanted to sell and all the time he is heading for my front door. I finally got really pissed and I told him "NO I dont and get away from my house." He hit the front door about the same time my big dog hit the front door and the neighbor who heard all this went in his house and got his gun and met him too.. So the guy takes off running gets in his car and leaves.

I called the cops told them what had happened and well there was nothing else to do. Anyway, the next day the neighbor brings over the paper and on the front page was an artist's rendition of this rapist that had been raping women apartment managers in LA. He was supposedly headed south to San Diego and the police were issuing warnings to be on the look out for him. It was the same guy that had tried to get into my house...

I am a small town girl. I grew up in a town of 210 people. I learned a lot in San Diego especially the value of a good dog.. Well, when we finally moved to Ohio it was in the winter and we had to wait for a few months until we got a house to rent. When we did the house was in Morrow County. The entire population of the county was 10000 and we were in the country just outside it's county seat.

We lived in a very old house that was over 100 years old. We were in the house for about a week when these two men came up to the house in a plain white car. Both men got out of the car and came to the front door and Myrtle (our dog) greeted them at the screen with hackles raised, teeth bared and a tail that flared out to the size of a large cat. I being sensitized to San Diego life made sure the door was locked and talked to them through the locked screen door making sure they could see Myrtle the entire time. These guys came to our house to because supposedly they had gotten a report stating that we had a horse in our septic tank. Uh Huh... I knew these guys were after something and ..

"I don't have a horse..."

"ma'am we need to see your septic tank. We have a report you have a horse in your septic tank.."

"Ok what do you really want?"

"ma'am we are from the county health department and we are responding to a report that you have a horse in your septic tank..."

"Uh Huh...You don't understand we don't have a horse.."

"But ma'am we still need to see your septic tank to see if you have a horse in it..."

"Uh huh.. Don't you think that if there were a horse in my septic tank that I would know about it?"

"Yes ma'am but we still have to check.."

By this time I figured I had either lost my mind or they had lost theirs.. So I told them to go find the septic tank.. They asked me where it was...

"I don't know where it is.. I just moved in last week. Just listen for the horse. You should be able to find it."

so the two men slumped off to find the septic tank. Turns out all they had to do was follow their nose. It seems that the previous owners did have a horse and it did indeed fall into the septic tank several years prior to us moving in. When it did fall into the tank it died and the previous tenants drug the horse out behind the barn and buried it. The owner not wanting to replace the cement lid for the septic tank took pieces of marble from the bathroom floor he was replacing and laid them over the top of the septic tank. He was fined and had to redo the drain field and the two men from the county health department never came back to see me.....

The ending of the story goes like this. The landlord called to find out about what happened with the county board of health and when I told him he got very quiet. He later got a letter and a huge fine but what really set him off was that someone had reported the incident at all. This was "rural" folks. The house we lived on was on a small portion of an entire 450 acre spread. It had been sold off by the family that lived just up the street from us. Their son decided he wanted the house back along with the 32 acres and he reported the landlord to try and force the landlord to sell his house rather than have to pay the fine.

When the landlord informed me of this I flippantly said "well just tell them that some crazy people from California were buying it and they are going to build a local Disney Land."

I said this as a joke and never thought anything more of it until I was shopping at the local grocery store. This woman comes up to me and says "aren't you the lady from California?" I responded that Dan and I had just moved from California yes.. She looked at me and with a very straight and serious face said, "Well when is Disney Land going to be finished?"

When you live in small town USA never open your mouth unless it is to say, Hi, Bye or How are ya doing?

No Dead Horses on my property on Whidbey Island.

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